Thursday, July 31, 2008

Big box of meds!

First of all WOW! That is a lot of medicine and a lot of needles! Second of all - progesterone suppositories? I thought I only had to do progesterone in oil. I've heard the suppositories make you feel like you have a yeast infection - ALL THE TIME! I have a real problem with that. And my husband is laughing at me b/c that is what I'm concerned about - there are about 100 needles in the box along with a thousand vials of hormones and I'm worried about my vajajay itching. He doesn't have one - he doesn't know!!! I'm going to have to clarify this next week when I go that I do indeed have to use these things. This from the girl who begged for Diflucan when I found out I had to take antibiotics. I got one for every 3 days of antibiotics. As you can tell - I've had a problem with yeast before!!

Its been a week

Since I last updated. Lets see what has happened since then . . . Mostly shots of Lupron and planning our days around them! Hubby has actually started giving me the shots and has done a wonderful job. They don't hurt any more - just get a little itchy afterwards. No real side effects other than feeling tired and it seems like I got hot easier than I used to but that could just be the temp outside!! It is like 98 here with a 105 heat index!!



As for fun stuff . . . we haven't done much. We watched the Heartbreak Kid last Friday night and it was really good. Unfortunately we were watching it on "ON DEMAND" and that stopped working when we had 20 minutes left in the movie. I still haven't seen the end of it yet. It has Ben Stiller and his dad in it - its pretty funny but was definitely kind of dirty in places. They could have left those scenes out and it would have been just as good as well as most of the bad language. But I guess the whole premise of the movie is that he's "dating" a girl while he's on his honeymoon so I guess the movie, while funny, gets an "F" in morals. Hows that for my movie review!



Monday I had Bible study and it was awesome. The 3 of us that are doing IVF had a good talk and a good cry and a long prayer and it really helps.



Last night was my grandmother's 85th birthday dinner. I felt bad for telling hubby not to come but you just have to know my family. I would have worried that he would have been miserable the whole time. My family is a little on the strange side and the least I can subject him to that the better. And since my parents who are the most normal of the bunch were boycotting the whole thing I even felt a little guilty for going but still didn't want to hurt my grandmother's feelings. So I went. But as is everything in my life I felt guilty about it. I really need to work on my guilt. It is a useless emotion!



Oh and on the IVF front, I had my suppression check yesterday and all went well. Estrogen was 28 and I should get my follistim and menopur in the mail today! Woo Hoo! Lets get this party started!!



This weekend I'm trying to throw a small party for my hubby's 30th birthday. Its just 4 other couples that are invited and I'm making dinner and having cake. Its simple but that is really all I can handle right now! I got him XM radio for his birthday. I hope he likes it! Plus a few other little things. We did get a TV about a month ago so that pretty much counts as his present!!



Sunday we are meeting his parents and sister for lunch since she lives in B'ham. Then on his actual birthday his parents are taking us out to eat. I think I've said before that his family likes to eat!! Alot!! Its free and means we don't have to cook. Works for me!



Sunday I will also start my Follistim and Menopur shots.



I'll let you know how that went on Monday!



Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Alcohol, needles and Lupron, Oh My!

I feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz - we are definitely not in Kansas anymore - well I guess for me its just my comfort zone. I've never been one to be afraid of needles per se - - not so much comfortable with them, but not pass out on the floor afraid like my lovely husband. However, I was a nervous wreck on Monday when I was preparing for shot number 1! Luckily I have ladies Bible study on Monday nights and the leader is going through IVF for the second time right now as well. She has a precious baby boy - well he's almost 3 but he is precious! Anyway - we prayed for the 3 of us all doing IVF in the Bible study so I felt blanketed by prayer and God's loving hands when I did the first shot -- plus my friend and RN and fellow IVF'er was there to help. It didn't hurt at all. The funny part about it was when she was telling me that everything needed to be as sterile as possible and that would mean the cat had to get off the counter. I don't know about you but my cat really doesn't take direction well! So we eventually got her off the counter and got on with the "show". Fast forward 24 hours later and hubby and I were alone to do the shot. I didn't feel quite so blanketed and I was pretty sure I was having a pity party and it was a solo party. Well I forgot to pinch up the fat for the shot and it hurt and there was quite a lot of resistance. I whined and pouted. Last night I had a better attitude and I remembered to pinch up the fat but it still hurt and there was still resistance . . . so I read my injection instructions and realized that I was poking the needle in at more of a 90 degree angle than a 45 degree angle so tonight I will try that and hopefully it won't hurt anymore. If not I'm calling my RN mom in for a consult and let her do it and see if it hurts. I may just need the presence of an RN to make it not hurt.


I've been searching the net for Lupron side effects and haven't really found an actual person saying the side effects they have had. I found a lot of people suffering with endo that take Lupron for much longer and in much higher doses than IVF people take. For the record I'm on 10 u (.1cc) Lupron once a day. Anyway the first day nothing out of the ordinary the second night I had very vivid dreams and woke up crying from one. That happened again last night - I didn't cry last night but I do remember yelling at people in the dream and it was random people from high school that I really don't talk to anymore. Plus my husbands old college roommate was there and we were jumping off a pier into a lake repeatedly with our clothes on. Strange. Then I dreamed about a pregnancy test that you had to mark with your fingernail and then pee on and if it turned pink at the mark then you were pregnant and I just kept doing it over and over again and I was always pregnant. Now I'd love for that dream to come true but not the one from the night before that I woke up crying from. It was a bad dream! Then this morning I woke up feeling about 10 pounds heavier than normal - my rings won't go on and my tummy is bloated. I had only gained 1.5 pounds since yesterday but I'm guessing its all fluid. I'm going to try to drink lots of water today and stay away from salt and see if that helps any.

Nothing else is really going on. Today is my last day of birth control pills and next Wednesday is my suppression check. I have a dentist appointment on the 29th - do you think I have to tell them I'm on Lupron for IVF - is that relevant? Its just for a cleaning and it might be time for my X-rays but I'm not sure.

I'll try to update more often so I don't write a book every time I post!!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

IVF Update

Lets see . . . I guess I haven't written since Thursday so I'll start from there.

Thursday I worked and we went to dinner with 2 couples from church - they both gave me sweet birthday presents. Both couples rang in age from 48 - 53 so they are a good bit older than us. We do nursery with them and both are the sweetest couples. One let me borrow her copy of the Sunflower by Richard Paul Evans - so good - its a must read. Then we had to drive home in a monsoon. I HATE driving in the rain - and RIDING in the rain!

Friday was more work and then we ate dinner with hubby's parents and sister and her husband - it was somewhat to celebrate my birthday again. His mom made me mac and cheese which is my favorite and then I had a cake - this week is his dad's birthday too so we both had our own cake. When you are an only child its great to have a mother in law who is too! I always get enough attention! Two cakes might be a bit of an overkill but hey - it tastes good!

Saturday was our 5 year anniversary but he played golf with his dad and BIL most of the day and then we went to dinner at a fancy restaurant - we had a gift certificate so it made it taste even better! I had crab cakes and grilled shrimp! And of course there would be a new baby at the next table. I've gotten a lot less bitter about being around babies now. I hope that is God working b/c I don't want to be the bitter infertile girl! We don't really do anniversary gifts since its right in the middle of our birthdays but he got me flowers and a card and the ditz that I am didn't even think to get him a card. I went and made him one with scrapbook stuff so it was cute and even more personal than a bought card! Oh well - I'll do better next year!

Sunday we went to church and SS - I actually didn't have to do nursery this week! We asked for prayer for our upcoming IVF cycle. It was the first time that we openly spoke about IVF at our class. Several of our closer friends know what is going on but we have never made a formal announcement about it. We ate lunch with his parents and sister and BIL. We eat a lot don't we?? Especially when the sister is in town b/c the parents want to feed us - that's OK its free!! And always good!!

Monday I got a call early that the RE's office wanted to reschedule my SIS and they wanted to do it that day at 11:30. Well . . . OK. Then they wanted to reschedule injection instructions to that day too so I spent a big chunk of the day at the REs office. The SIS did hurt worse than the HSG but still wasn't that bad and it was only for about 2 minutes at the most. I'm still clueless on how to give myself a shot but Hubby and Mom were there so hopefully they caught on. Hubby passes out at the smell of alcohol so i'm counting on Mom. She's an RN so she probably didn't need the instructions - just mixing instructions and dosage. She'll handle it is what I'm hoping!! Last night was Bible Study and we studied Philippians 2 - it was a good lesson and we discussed the infertility/loss support group that the leader is starting at our church. I can't wait. I hope that this is something that I can benefit from but then also help others. I don't want to go through this journey in vain. I want to glorify God out of this in some way other than raising our child to know and worship Him - which we would have done infertility or no infertility. I just feel like this infertility struggle so many of us face should have a greater purpose. I'm praying that He leads me to this greater purpose. I know He is b/c I found myself volunteering last night to go around to the Sunday School classes and speak about the support group. I don't speak in public so I have no idea where that came from! Well . . . I guess I do!!

Today has been work and I feel kind of blah and I think it is the antibiotics I have to be on from the SIS yesterday. I don't do well with medicine which makes me fear the next six weeks!!

T -minus 6 days until my first injection. Speaking of which my Lupron was supposed to be here by 11:00 this morning by Fed Ex and I haven't seen it yet so I'm trying to decide if I should call the pharmacy or not . . .

Well . . . I wrote a book. I'd better get back to work.

Random word art

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Random Happenings from the last few days

Thursday my husband tried to make me a cookie cake shaped like a dog bone b/c its our fur baby's birthday too but it didn't really turn out - it looks more like an Easter egg! I still ate every bit of it though - it tasted awesome. We went to a baseball game with some friends and my hubby put my name on the score board with the other birthdays and the announcer sang Happy Birthday - I missed it though b/c I was talking - such a woman! I probably only watched 3 innings of the game! There were a lot of people I knew there!! Plus I was only really there to see the fireworks and they were Awesome!

Friday we ate a lot - pancakes for breakfast, a cookout with ice cream cake in the afternoon and more cookie cake after more fireworks!

Saturday I shopped and we ate dinner with his parents.

Sunday we went to church and both ended up doing nursery - it was fun! I do love those 2 year olds!

Here begins the IVF updates!
Monday I had my CD3 baseline ultrasound and blood work. I had 14 follicles and my FSH was 10 and my estradiol was 63. I then played hooky the rest of the day and went shopping with a friend from out of town and we swam at her in laws house with my dog, their dogs and her 10 month old baby! It was a fun day. I went to a Bible Study at another IRL IVF patient friend's house. It's amazing who God puts in your path and when He does it! I am blessed to have such good friends who understand what I'm going through. Of course I'm sorry we are all having to go through it but it does make it easier to have two great friends on the same road!

Tuesday my hubby had his sperm frozen and we met with Dr. H. She was kind of in a rush and made it all seem very "everyday". I guess it is to her! I just hope she likes us - I'm one of those people who strive for affirmation at all times and I think she likes my husband more than me! I think he reminds her of her husband. She just seemed to be a tad irritated by my plethora of questions so I just gave up. We did find out that we should qualify for shared risk but will find out for certain tomorrow. I have to have a sonar insufflation study (SIS) on Tuesday - it is supposed to take 45 minutes. Since my HSG took like 5 that really scares me but . . . you gotta do what you gotta do! I also found out that my meds will be 80% covered by insurance so that is great news! I'll get my dosage and calendar on Monday and speak with the IVF coordinator the following Monday and begin my injections possibly the following Monday.

I still feel like my life is a Lifetime TV movie!

Hope everyone had a great weekend and a good week so far!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

I thought . . .

that I would be driving an hour and a half to have an ultrasound today but I'm not. I didn't start this morning so I called and made an appointment for Monday. I get to do it in town now. Every time I call and talk to a nurse they ask me what I'm doing and why am I asking about birth control pills. I think its dumb too but apparently for IVF you take them. The nurse today asked if I was having surgery - um no - why don't they mark your chart with a big IVF. I can't stop thinking about it so the least they can do is know what is going on! I'm finished with that rant - she said that if I happen to start today before 6 pm that I should call the surge line and go in this weekend - if not I have an appointment here on Monday morning. That saves us the tank of gas that it would take to get there and we already have to go to B'ham on Tuesday to meet with Dr. H so . . . that seems to have worked out in our favor.

On a completely unrelated note - does anyone shop at New York and Company? They are having a 70% off sale and their clearance merchandise is an additional 70% off. I'm a bargain shopper and I'm all about this. I bought something there on Monday and got a $10 off a $30 purchase coupon so I'm going back this afternoon to see if I can find anything!! Just doing my part to help the economy! I prefer Ann Taylor Loft but you can't beat the sale! I need ATL to have their sale where they put an additional 50% off their sale items!

Again - since I posted too early yesterday - have a happy 4th and enjoy the fireworks!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Birthdays

Birthdays suck when you are infertile. Its just a reminder that its been another year on the roller coaster of emotions. I am happy that God has allowed me to (almost) see another birthday. I really hope Christmas doesn't come and go without a baby bump too. Birthday's and Christmas and Mother's Day and Father's Day are all painful for infertiles.

However . . . I do get to eat cake and not feel guilty about it! I think we are going to go to a minor league baseball game tomorrow night and see fireworks! That is the good thing about having a birthday on the 4th of July - you always get fireworks for your birthday! And at the game they have yummy soft pretzels! Is it obvious that food makes me happy??

Have a good 4th and a good weekend!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Tuesday

Not much has happened since my last post. We went to the visitation of a fellow real life infertile friend's grandfather. Did you catch that?? Our friends grandfather passed away. He and his wife just so happen to be going through IVF at the EXACT same time as we are. We are in the same Sunday School Class. That too is too much of a coincidence to be a coincidence. His wife is the one who gave me the teddy bear that I mentioned in the previous post. Anyway Friday we drove 2 1/2 hours to a visitation for my boss' aunt. I've had enough funeral stuff for a while.

Saturday we became the proud owners of a new TV . . . lets rewind . . . husband became the proud owner of a new TV - I care nothing about it! Our little bitty tv in our bedroom broke which somehow he rationalized into replacing the TV in the den with an LCD TV which in turn makes us have to buy a TV stand for it to go on. It made him happy. Whatever. I can't even turn the thing on now! I need a lesson!!

On the IVF front -- I'm supposed to start on Thursday but I still haven't started spotting and I always spot for 2-3 days before I actually start so I'm hoping that means I'll start on the 4th which will allow me to stay in town for the ultrasound on Monday instead of driving 2 hours to have it done this Thursday. Although I don't plan to be in control -- I have an appointment on Thursday and if I need to go well I'll be more than happy to go. Its just that gas is expensive and I'm pretty much running out of sick days. I don't really want to take vacation for the egg retrieval and transfer and hopefully OB appointments after that. HOWEVER . . . again . . . I'll be more than happy to work triple overtime if it means I'm going to an OB!!

Ugh - a couple at our church are having natural triplets - how bad does that scare you!! If they put in the 2 best embryos and they each divide - whoa - I'll just let you do the math! Maybe I'd get my own show!!